GEOFF GRAY, SLOTH BOY!

THE AWFUL TRUTH

The end is near; I mean this is the sense that Big Bertha the transexual alpaca is about to embark on a mission to mate with Geoff the sloth boy from Venezuela. We wish him all the best in his endeavours!!!!

EXTRA! EXTRA! READ ALL ABOUT IT!

The orange toothpick would like to say a few words to let all those heretic broomsticks out there know that he will not go down without a fight!

"I have a dream! I have a dream that orange toothpicks and heretic broomsticks can live together in peace and harmony as brothers and sisters throughout eternity! I have a dream that I will not be attacked with cucumber guns because of the colour of my toenails, and that in turn I will not react by sending the Hippopotamus Hitmen around to resolve my disputes indefinitely!"

Unfortunately the orange toothpick was assassinated the other day by a hippopotamus hitman who turned against him in a fit of jealous rage...

BEWARE OF QUESTIONING WHILST HUNGRY

Amanda Panda Japananda Hong Foo Sing Armistice did a backflip whilst eating her hot chocolate upside down inside the ventilation shaft of the school library four years ago.... when asked about this incident by the transexual budgerigar, she replied that all she ever wanted was to be a member of the Secret Pie Society (SFS) and if anybody tried to stop her, there was going to be hell to pay....... "YOU WATCH OUT!" she screamed at the reporters, "PAM WILL F***ING GET YOU AND SPIT YOU OUT OF HER GIGANTIC EARHOLES!". We got from this that she would not be responsive and so we resolved to eat our brown ice cream sticks alone.....

Disintelligentitis Book Of Guests

Remember if you sign this guest book you may very well be struck down with the deadly virus that makes you want to eat savage cabbage whilst singing "Absolutely Everybody" by Vanessa Amerosi....

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We'll Be Waiting.......

You got something to say punks! HUH! We'll fight you! Cucumbers......RELEASE!!! Or if you have anything you want us to answer you like what drugs we were on whilst writing this, send them in to the following address transparent_mirror@hotmail.com